February 2012
3 posts
6 tags
She: Do you love me?
He: Yes, I love you.
She: Do you love me more than potatoes fried in duck fat?
He: Uhm... I love you more than tater tots.
Feb 15th
2 notes
7 tags
DIY Valentine's Pro Tip!!
Collage art is both more fun and more meaningful(!) when you cut apart old issues of Bitch and 7x7 and other magazines your boyfriend’s shitty exgirlfriend left at his apartment when they broke up.
Feb 4th
1 note
4 tags
He: I won't go so far as to say that I like watching it, but I like watching you when we watch it. There's this whole other side of you I never get to see.
Me: That's the costume drama side. And to be honest, I'm toning it down to about 20% right now. If you like this side of me, you're in for a treat.
Feb 3rd
January 2012
1 post
Jan 31st
2,034 notes
December 2011
8 posts
Dec 20th
1,766 notes
3 tags
Dec 20th
158 notes
4 tags
Yesterday I met a woman who'd recently had her...
It is a vine-like design with branches for up to three more children.   I am in rural Iowa. Please come get me.  
Dec 20th
5 notes
“Dont let anyone rent space in your head unless they pay for it.”
– Unknown
Dec 11th
454 notes
Love looks like two robots talking. The robots have beautiful hair.
Dec 4th
1 note
Dec 2nd
758 notes
Dec 2nd
2,179 notes
“Holiday tip, listen to BBC Radio 1 during the month of December and it feels...”
– A wise woman once said, “I don’t think ‘Love Actually’ is aimed at people who’ve experienced death firsthand.” Fuck yeah, easy listening!
Dec 2nd
104 notes
November 2011
40 posts
Nov 30th
386 notes
6 tags
Nov 29th
144 notes
1 tag
Nov 29th
183 notes
10 tags
Nov 29th
4 tags
Nov 29th
496 notes
4 tags
I don't mean to be a whiny bitch but
I was sitting here thinking about how weird it is that no one has downloaded and given me a really good pirated version of the movie Drive yet and it made me feel very alone and unloved.
Nov 28th
Nov 27th
8 tags
the shittiest thing about thanksgiving
is how over the course of what feels like four gorgeous sundays in a row, you begin to unconsciously expect that every time you open the fridge, there will be pie in there.  as past years have demonstrated, this will only result in future disappointment. 
Nov 27th
3 tags
Nov 27th
15,820 notes
5 tags
Nov 25th
233 notes
4 tags
Nov 18th
489 notes
2 tags
Nov 18th
311 notes
Nov 18th
97 notes
How to properly hide booze in your Facebook...
Nov 18th
17,223 notes
4 tags
Nov 16th
434 notes
3 tags
Nov 15th
4 tags
Nov 15th
782 notes
Nov 15th
1 note
6 tags
boxing/humans
love the things you love so much that you become without noticing unable to continue pretending to love some things you really don’t.   via dialecstatic My homegirl loves so hard and so good.  
Nov 14th
10 tags
“I´m sorry. I wish I was there. People here don´t understand that you can just...”
– My best friend, back in the motherland, Bolivia.   Come back to the fatherland!  San Francisco is extremely bearable this time of year and we’ll probably go to go to the park later!
Nov 14th
165 notes
3 tags
Nov 14th
4 tags
Nov 13th
7,027 notes
5 tags
WatchWatch
Happy Veterans’ Day!  “Thank you, America. Thank you.” 
Nov 11th
9 tags
Nov 11th
4,565 notes
4 tags
Nov 11th
3,164 notes
3 tags
Nov 9th
186 notes
6 tags
Important Internet Questions Raised
What would Hemingway say about Peet’s Coffee?  And how would Sylvia Plath feel about the American Apparel Warehouse sale?  Yelping with Cormac McCarthy.
Nov 8th
9 notes
2 tags
Nov 8th
9,582 notes
9 tags
Nov 8th
4 tags
Nov 8th
28,137 notes
9 tags
The world in real-time numbers →
What a relief to know what we’ve got tons of oil left. Just kidding, guys. There’s not that much oil left. But for real, do a Google search or send an email and be like BAM. That shit right there was me.
Nov 7th
Nov 7th
840 notes
Nov 6th
3,300 notes
17 tags
future children (a collaboration)
“hey, kristin, you know what’s awesome??  someday you’ll have kids and I’ll have kids and if we time them right, they can hang out with each other!” “our kids will totally beat up carrie’s kids!” “oh my god, carrie’s kids will bruise so easily! unlike our kids, who will have olive complexions.  my kids will also really like...
Nov 4th
10 notes
7 tags
Nov 4th
7,262 notes
5 tags
Nov 4th
35,717 notes
Nov 3rd
55,808 notes
13 tags
How To Be The Most Attractive Person
I never want to be less than very sincere with you.  Lean in.  I’m going to whisper. The secret to being the most attractive person is to never, ever be bored.   Everyone knows that saying the word “boring” makes your face look fat, but what most of us don’t realize is that being bored makes you look like a fucking asshole.  99% of all things you probably currently...
Nov 2nd
8 notes