How To Be The Most Attractive Person

I never want to be less than very sincere with you.  Lean in.  I’m going to whisper.

The secret to being the most attractive person is to never, ever be bored.  

Everyone knows that saying the word “boring” makes your face look fat, but what most of us don’t realize is that being bored makes you look like a fucking asshole. 

99% of all things you probably currently think are boring are actually totally awesome and you’re one of the dickheads who doesn’t know about it yet.  Consider this:  before you knew about all of the things you now love and know to be cool, you probably thought they were boring.  Go back in time and ask your 10-year-old self how he/she feels about Fleet Foxes and you’ll impolitely be told to fuck yourself if you insist upon talking gibberish during My So-Called Life or whatever.  

Here’s a list of things that you might currently think are boring but that are actually totally awesome and which, if you knew more about, you could potentially fucking love constantly:

- baseball

- architecture

- deep space exploration

- horror movies

- ten-minute plays

- making soup

- nature (videos)

- TV shows that aired before your ABC-TGIF-Full-House-Urkel coming-of-age

- mathematics

- computer programing

- nonfiction writing

- sports documentaries

- local politics

- kinds of whiskeys and how they vary

And many others.  Should you find yourself in a seemingly boring situation, ask yourself this:  Am I bored or am I disinterested?  

You don’t have to be interested in everyone and everything, but, I mean, why not?  People who aren’t sincerely interested in other people and other things are unloveable and unattractive.  Do you want to die alone?  Be more attractive. Be more interested.